UGH.

Guest: So… where are all the volcanoes?

Concierge: The volcano is on the Big Island

Guest: Oh there’s not like, volcanoes everywhere?

Concierge: No, there is not. Sorry…

Guest: Ok so how do we get a shuttle to the volcano then?

Concierge: Well first you would need to fly to the big island…

Guest: WAIT, so there are no shuttles?

Concierge: No I’m sorry you would need to fly there.

Guest: UGH.

Morbid Curiosity

Guest: Why can’t I go into the Arizona?

Concierge: Because it’s a sunken ship, you may only look down into a portion of it from the memorial.

Guest: Why?

Concierge: Well, it’s essentially a resting place for those that didn’t survive the attack. They weren’t able to remove the bodies from the ship, so no tours will take you down into the ship or around it.

Guest: Not even a submarine ride like this? (Holds up Atlantis pamphlet)

Concierge: No, I’m sorry, I don’t believe people want to see what’s inside

Guest: Well they should!

Wish we were paid like Google!

Guest: So what is your job exactly?

Concierge: I am a concierge for the hotel

Guest: Yeah I see that but what do you DO exactly?

Concierge: I help guests with questions, I make reservations, book activities, provide maps and directions, local history, general questions…

Guest: So you’re a google.

Concierge: …..

Tales of a Creep Magnet part 2

Guest: (walking through lobby)

Concierge #1: (notices guest face has had $6788364837 worth of plastic surgery)

Guest: (walks closer)

Concierge #2: (stares straight ahead trying not to make eye contact with concierge #1)

Concierge #1: (holding back extreme laughter)

Concierge #2: (staring straight ahead and makes eye contact with guest) Hi!

Guest: (death stare super curse from hell, walks out towards bar)

Concierge #1: (grabs desk still holding back laughter, looks over at concierge #2) WTF JUST HAPPENED?

Concierge #2: Pretty sure she just placed a curse on me…

Concierge #1: YEP! (dies laughing)

Are you famous?

Guest: Is there anything transportation like that can pick us up here, take us around town where we want to go, and bring us back here?

Concierge: The only thing I can think of like that would be a cab.

Guest: There is no shuttle that can pick us up here to do that? We have 6 people.

Concierge: If you have too many people for a regular cab you can always try a minivan cab or a limo.

Guest: Really, there is no shuttle service that stops here to do that?

Concierge: I think a cab or a limo is your best bet. There are no personalized shuttles to take people on personalized tours.

Guest: (non believing tone) oooooook.